- Senator Shehu Sani contradicted the advice given by Emir Muhammadu Sanusi, who advised his daughters to seek help if they faced an abusive husband.
- The monarch instructed his daughters to slap their husbands back if they raise their hands to slap them, stating he did not raise a daughter for slapping.
Senator Shehu Sani has expressed his disapproval of the advice given by the Emir of Kano, Muhammadu Sanusi, regarding how his daughters should respond to an abusive husband.
During a recent forum, the Emir stated that he had instructed his daughters to retaliate with a slap if their husbands ever struck them. He emphasized that he did not raise his daughters to be subjected to such treatment.
“Beating your wife or beating your daughter or beating a woman is prohibited. It is a crime. Let’s not even talk about handkerchief or chewing stick. It is just haram. It is prohibited. Allah says, All harm must be removed. And beating, gender-based violence is harm. And it must be removed.
It just does not make sense. Now I said it before, and I know I’ve been attacked for it, and I’ll continue saying it. When my daughters are getting married, I say to them, if your husband slaps you, and you come home and tell me my husband slapped me, without slapping him back first, I will sl@p you myself because I did not send my daughter to marry somebody so he can slap her. If you do not like her, send her back to me. But don’t be@t her.
And we must teach our daughters not to take it. And also teach our sons that it is not allowed to happen. It is not acceptable. It cannot happen. We have to bring up our children to understand that violence against the body of another human being, whether it’s your brother, or your sister, or your son, or your daughter, or your wife, that v!olence against persons violates the basic dignity of a human being.” he said
His remarks have elicited a variety of responses from Nigerians. In his own commentary on Facebook, Sani criticized the Emir for promoting such violent responses. He noted that this mentality contributes to the increasing rates of divorce, as couples are less inclined to forgive one another.
Furthermore, he suggested that this attitude is a factor in the prevalence of divorced women in Abuja, who often find themselves moving from one relationship to another, accepting behaviors they would have previously rejected from their husbands.
His post reads;
‘’His Highness Sanusi should not be encouraging this kind of domestic violence in form of Slapping and Slapping back. Rather, Husbands and wives should learn to control themselves in moments of anger when the Devil temporarily visits their homes. When a husband is angry, he should walk out of the House and come back later. When a husband is upset and shouting loudly, the wife should just keep quiet and allow him to relieve all of his words. The sentence “I’m sorry” has a magical spirit that can evict the demon in the house.
Two people shouting at each other is the source of many Divorce.
If the man is becoming violent, the wife should protect herself by walking out to his family or her family home. The very day slapping and slapping back becomes the order of a family, the marriage is irreversibly destroyed even if the couple remains together. Most of the participants in those mass weddings are literally divorced wives who believe in this revengeful idea of slapping back their husbands. What is the possibility that when you slap your first husband you won’t slap the second one?. Did you grew up from a home where your father slapped your mother and your mother slapped him back? How did your parents resolved their problems? Should that not be your guide?
It’s sad that you can now see thousands of Divorcees from the North in Abuja,who refused to be patient with their husbands.They are virtually living a life of glorified prostitution moving from one Honorable to another Honorable,giving them mostly false promises of multi million naira contracts or Supplies and sleeping with them.What they cannot tolerate from their husbands they end up tolerating it with the Honorables whom they cannot slap back under any circumstance.
There is no perfect husband and there is no perfect and there is no perfect family. We live by learning to understand and tolerate our imperfections.
Every family poor or rich has its challenges. In every home there are good moments and bad moments, when bad moments come, we should learn to navigate the storms and the turbulence and it will pass. Most Marriages last not because of love, but because the couples have learned and master the art of overcoming those bad moments and moving on. When you are getting married to a man or a woman, just know that you are not getting married to an angel even though you call each other Angels.You also call yourselves honey and forget that honey comes from a Bee that can sting.
Even me, that writes this have my own headache and troubles at home occasionally. Whenever I travel,my wife wants to call me on video call by midnight or 1am and she will not tolerate the excuse that I don’t have enough data sometimes or network problems; and whenever we communicated via that video,she feels happy and life moves on.One day I’ll be gone and the family will miss that moment.That is life.”
